Family – Plattsville Church

The Kingdom as Imagination and Dreaming

10274327_10156636848740643_4770778223963690522_n Recently I’ve been thinking about Jesus saying we need to become like little children to inherit the Kingdom of God. And I’m sure there are lots of really great interpretations of this verse, with lots of really meaningful applications.

But the one I’ve been thinking about today is what if Jesus is talking about imaginations?

I mean as I think about my own kids, the one thing they have is so much imagination. And imagination, along with wonder, seems to be something we lose as adults.

Just recently I’ve had two interactions with Asher that remind me of the wonder of imagination. One, I was sleeping and he hit me with a stick and said, “Wake up daddy – I hit you with my magic stick. See it work you wake up” and he bounced off singing, and waking up all his animals. Then we were wrestling and he stops me and says, “I win daddy – I have laser eyes *blink blink* I got you again.”

These are things that never ever occur to me…

And I know that Jesus could be talking about a lot of things, but what if he’s talking about how we won’t be able to enter the Kingdom unless we can imagine it? Unless we can maybe dream up what it might look like? And how it might actually affect our lives right here and now?

What if part of the problem of us seeing the Kingdom really changing lives and changing communities ~ is because of our lack of imagination for how it might happen? What if our shrunken imaginations are actually shrinking the possibilities for the kingdom?

Ever since Asher beat me in wrestling with his laser eyes I’ve been thinking about that question. What possibilities might Asher see for the Kingdom that I’m missing? What might Asher fearlessly try that I wouldn’t? What might I see if I had the imagination and wonder of a child fully invested in the Kingdom of God?

I don’t have any great answers to that question…but I think it’s a great question to start with. And so while I don’t how it all plays out, I’ve been praying a new prayer recently because of my kids, “God give me eyes to see your world with childlike imagination.” Because once we start dreaming, and imagining we can also start following.

Sermon Reflections

Strong Start: Family, Future, and Marbles

marbles-1421822-1279x1699 [GUEST POST: Andrew Epp ~ Family Pastor]

On Sunday we continued in our series on starting 2016 strong, and specifically in the area of our families. During the sermon we journeyed with a family via video and watched their baby grow up and eventually move out, showing us that there are different phases in life and we need to make sure we don’t miss them.

If you missed it you can find the video’s and the presentation here:

Here are the 5 questions we looked into on Sunday:

How am I connecting my child to a wider circle of influence?
Who do I want my child to become?
How am I fighting for the heart of my child?
How has spiritual development been part of our family rhythm this week?
Is my relationship with God, growing, authentic and personal?

Here are some of the main points that we discussed on Sunday:

Parenting priorities

What matters more than anything is that my kids have an authentic relationship with God.
My wife and I are not the only adult influences my children need.
My children need to know that I will never stop fighting for a right relationship with them.
My relationship with God and with my wife affects my children more than I realize.
Just being together can never substitute for interacting together in a meaningful way.

No one has more potential to influence your child than you.

You are the primary influence in the life of your child.
Teachers, pastors and coaches will never have as much potential to influence a child’s character, self-esteem, perspectives, or faith as a parent does.
That teacher pastor or coach will have influence that is temporary, your influence as a parent will be permanent.
Your relationship gives you the potential to influence in ways that others cannot.

You are not the only influence your children need.

tap into other influences that also have the potential to impact your children’s future.
You can leave your children alone to discover random influences who will shape their character and faith, or you can help them proactively pursue strategic relationships for their lives.

Two combined influences will make a greater impact than just two influences.

If they work together they can potentially make a greater impact than if they work alone.

The 5 questions at the beginning of the page are focused around 5 values come from the book Parenting beyond your capacity by Reggie Joiner and Carey Nieuwhof

Value 1) Parenting Values Widen the Circle

Invite others to invest in your children, so that your sons and daughters have other voices that help shape and determine the direction of their lives.
The time will come when your child needs another trusted adult who would give them a safe place to wrestle with difficult issues.
The church has huge potential to provide community for children. Research tell us that teens who had at least one adult from church make a significant time investment in their lives were more likely to keep attending church and that the more adults the better.
This community gives them a sense of belonging and significance.
It allows mentors to DO ministry with the child and serve with them.
Widen this circle as early as possible before children need them so that they will be there when they need them.

Key Question: How am I connecting my child to a wider circle of influence?

Value 2) Imagine the End

Focus your energy and effort on the issues that matter most and will make a lasting impact.
It is more important to leave a legacy of faith rather than an inheritance of wealth.
Moses said everything I have said and everything I will say hinges on one essential truth: our God is God. Everything is really about Him.
A child’s relationship with God is more important than their relationship with parents. That they would pursue a relationship with God as their highest priority.

Key Question: What do I want my child to become?

Value 3) Fight for the Heart

Create a culture of unconditional love in your home to fuel the emotional and moral health of your children.
Sometimes it is easy to win an argument and force the right behaviour, but lose the heart in the process.
Don’t fight with your children, fight for
One of the greatest gifts parents can give to their children is simply to prove that they can be trusted over the long haul.
Key Question: How am I fighting for the heart of my child

Create a Rhythm

Tap into the power of quality moments together, and build a sense of purpose through your everyday experiences.
Increase the quantity of quality time you spend together.
Much of daily life consists of repeated patterns of waking up, eating, going out and going to bed.
Deut 6 talks about impressing faith as we sit at home, walk along the road, lie down and get up. Consider the following ideas:
- Eating meals together is an optimal times to have a focussed discussion. Use a variety of discussion starters, games and activities, before, during or after a meal. Make it natural and fun.
- Walking or travelling together provides a great opportunity for informal dialogue in a nonthreatening environment.
- Tucking children into bed can be a great time to have an intimate conversation and listen to the heart of your child.
- Getting up in the morning provides a blank page for the family to start fresh relationally. Just a few encouraging words carefully spoken or written can give your children a sense of value and instil purpose.

Key Question: How has spiritual development been part of our family rhythm this week?

Value 5) Make It Personal

Put yourself first when it comes to personal growth.
When it comes to spiritual and character formation, your journey impacts them deeply. If you want it to be in them, it needs to be in you.
Let kids see your struggles. They need to see your authenticity and hear your transparency.
We are not expert parents before we start, but we learn as we go and we make spiritual growth a priority.
Find a community of friends who you to talk to and learn from.
Strengthen your relationship with your spouse. Don’t underestimate the importance of a child seeing a mother and a father engaged in friendship and interacting in an affectionate way.
 Key Question: Is my relationship with God, growing, authentic and personal?

Personal Musings

Broken Little Hearts, and Bruised Kidneys

I’m totally biased, but I think my kids are great. Like I mean so are yours, but well mine are…well let’s just leave that there J

But even my totally amazing kids, occasionally drive me nuts, and do really wrong and dumb things.

The other day I was wrestling with our closest friend’s son, and all of sudden my oldest Hudson wants to “rescue” him. So while I’m not looking on the floor, he gets a running start and kicks me as hard as he can in my side. A perfect kidney shot.

Now I must say that my soccer coaching skills for how to kick have really payed off because that one little kick from a 5 year old hurt, like hold back tears, don’t say anything, take time to recover hurt.

Here’s the thing though – when he knew he hurt me, like really hurt me, he knew he did something wrong, he knew he did something bad. But I turned after regaining some strength and wanted to make sure he knew how wrong it was. I said, “You don’t ever do that again”. And my wife, Krista came and then took Hudson to bed.

I came in a little while later, after I was feeling better and I walked into the room and I had a choice.

I could remind Hudson of how deeply he failed me, and how we don’t kick friends – or anyone for that matter. I could have sat down and said how that wasn’t a wise choice. I could have focused in on the “wrong” and how he “broke the law” of our household. I could reinforce judging his wrong, or I could focus on healing his little heart.

Hudson felt terrible at hurting me. I could reinforce how much he hurt me, and how disappointed I was in him. Or I could teach him about love, grace, forgiveness, and healing a little hurt heart.

Because here is the thing: when we’ve been wronged we really want the other person to either suffer for it, or show deep understanding of how they hurt us. But we always go overboard. We force the issue too long and too much. And the law, guilt, and judgment doesn’t change anyone. It sets a standard, but is not a motivator for transformation. Only grace and forgiveness are.

And so one look at my son showed me this was not the time to press the law and guilt more. This was the time for love and forgiveness. So I gave him a big hug, and he squeezed me so hard and I said I forgave him. He broke down and said how sorry he was, and I assured him that no matter what I’ll always forgive him and love.

So he went to sleep with a healed relationship, reconciled connection with me, rather than a deep feeling of not living up to my expectations and guilt. And I think that small difference makes all the difference.

Relationships are meant to be mended, not guilted into change. Relationships are meant to be reconciled, not broken under law. Relationships are to be healed through forgiveness, not through demanding judgment.

So the next time you have a chance to show judgment or grace and healing, stop for a moment, and think about your choice. Because there is always a choice to show forgiveness, or holding onto judgment. And sometimes that little choice is the difference between someone going to bed with a sore heart, or healed heart.

And of course I went to bed with a sore back, but my heart was happy with Hudson.

Podcasts, Sermon Reflections

Connecting, Families, and Andrew Epp

Hi Everyone – I’m just getting back from Germany and from Preaching a Week up at a Camp.

So here is the first sermon from when I was away preached by our Family Pastor Andrew Epp. I’ve only heard great things, and I’m looking forward to listening to it and catching up. Hope you get a chance to listen to it, if you missed it too!

Here it is:

Podcasts, Theological Musings

Mother’s Day Sermon

Hi Everyone! Gen Epp shared her first sermon here as one of our Family Pastor’s and did an amazing job! Some of you were looking to listen to it again – or catch it for the first time in case you missed it. Well here it is! Hope you enjoy!

Sermon Reflections

Why I Love an Old Fashioned Christmas

On Sunday we shared a lot about the traditions surrounding Christmas. Or if the word tradition bothers you – think instead of rhythms that surround Christmas. Because traditions are funny things, they are rooted in the past, but they actually preserve the future. That’s what they do.

Traditions are things that grow, that hold faith and family together. And without them family and faith can slip away or fade away.

This is something that I’m beginning to realize more and more. That traditions create memories, they are containers that hold meaning, and draw family together and pass along faith.

So on Sunday I shared some of the traditions that are part of my family.

Watching National Lampoons every year

Decorating the tree
Going to Christmas Eve services
Praying before gifts
Reading the Christmas story
And many more

The point is that the traditions – or rhythms – ground my family and my faith. They ensure that I remember that something important is happening and someone important is coming.

So we closed Sunday with giving a simple challenge: what is one tradition you want to start this year, and one tradition you want to keep and really invest in.

And I know in one sense all this talk about tradition makes me old fashioned. But that’s okay, because what really matters to me isn’t being cool and new. What really matters is my family growing closer, being pointed towards Jesus, and having memories that last, linger, and shape them.

Sermon Notes:

Big Idea: Creating and keeping traditions matter.

Teaching Points:

The stories are the point
That traditions are often the cradle and the keeper of faith.
Creating and keeping traditions matter
Traditions hold family and faith together

Adult Discussion Questions:

What stuck out to you from the sermon? What was challenging to you? How did God speak to you through it? What was new? What was funny? What are some of the traditions your family kept growing up? What are some of your favourite memories? Why do you think traditions might be important? What are some traditions you keep in your family? What are some you might want to start? How can tradition help to pass along faith, and hold family together?

Discussion Questions for Young Families

Talk to your kids about some of your favourite traditions. Then ask them, “What traditions should we have around Christmas?” Why not invite them into the discussion and take up their ideas. Sundaes on Christmas Eve? Why not. Wake up before the sun on Christmas day? Sure. Talk to them and develop some traditions.

Challenge for the Week: What traditions do you want to start, and keep?

Sermon Preview

Traditions, Turkey, and Tree’s

This Sunday is our annual Christmas meal at the church. So if you’re in the area and want some turkey, come on by and join us.

But this is one of the things that I love most about Christmas. I love how there are traditions that we do every year. That there are reminders that Christmas is coming, that there are markers that point to Jesus, that there are memories that go back decades.

For me, one of the memories I have is watching the movie National Lampoon’s Christmas each and every year. It was my dad’s favourite movie, and every year we’d watch it together.

But what about you? What makes Christmas – Christmas for you?

Because traditions matter, memories matter, and markers matter.

So that’s what we are going to be talking a little bit about on Sunday before we eat lots of turkey. But before we get there, why not think through what traditions matter to you. Because the funny thing about traditions is they root us in the past, but point us forward to the future. And that’s what we’ll explore on Sunday.

Personal Musings

Families aren’t born, but built.

In the past two weeks, in my family we’ve had two deaths, and two funerals in a week. I lost my grandma, and my wife lost her grandfather.

I use that language in a specific way of “lost” in a specific sense. We, of course, haven’t actually “lost” them, as if we don’t know where they are. Both of them are with Jesus without a shadow of doubt. But their being with Jesus is a “loss” for us because we love and miss them.

And as I think about them both I’ve come to realize something important that they both lived out. Both my grandma, and Krista’s grandfather lived in a way that was unique. They both realized that family isn’t something you are born into, family is something you build.

Think about that for a moment, because it’s true, but it’s something we forget.

Families aren’t born, but built.

And both my grandma and Krista’s grandfather got this. They invested in their families, they welcomed new people into the family, and toiled at building a family that lasts and matters. And as I look upon their legacy, I’m reminded that they have a legacy because they built into their families. They didn’t just talk about love, or take family for granted, they invested in it, fostered in it, and created it. And I think this matters.

So I’ve been thinking a lot about my own life in relation to this. Am I building my family, or taking it for granted? Am I investing in my relationships, or coasting? Because building a family takes effort, it takes time, and it will last beyond a life-time if you do it well.

There are many things that push and pull for our attention: deadlines, obligations, and expectations. But what I’ve been reminded of these past few weeks is that what really matters is building family and friendships. Deadlines, work, and obligations will come and go, but family and friendships can last for lifetimes if we build them well.

So my challenge to all of you is simple: build family and friendships well. Because as grandpa always said, “listen to the wisdom of those older”. And some of the wisdom I’ve learned from both my grandma, and Krista’s grandpa is that family is built, not something you are just born into.

Sermon Reflections

What is the Wise Thing To Do?

So on Sunday we pursued one question that I think will change your life. It will lead you into becoming a wise person. The question is this: what is the wise thing to do?

And at first glance it’s such a simple question that it doesn’t even seem that helpful. But if you think back to your greatest regret, failure, or mess up – I bet if you had asked that question, and followed through with it – things would be different.

So that’s what we looked at on Sunday; one simple question and 4 different responses to it. In Proverbs there are 4 types of people mentioned and each type of person has a different response to this question.

The first type of person Proverbs says are “simple”. These are people who do not know enough yet to ask this question. They are the young, naïve, and innocent people. These are our kids, and others who don’t have enough maturity or experience yet to ask this question – what is the wise thing to do.

The next type of person is a foolish person. This is someone who knows enough to ask the question, and knows the answer but doesn’t care enough to follow it. If you ask a fool what the wise thing to do is, they can often tell you. But they don’t care to follow it. This is because as Proverbs says Doing wrong is fun for a fool. Proverbs 10:23. So they know that dropping out of school, going to that party, not showing up for work isn’t wise. They just don’t care enough to change. That’s what Proverbs calls the foolish person.

The next person is the mocker. Proverbs descirbes them as someone who has given up on the question. They don’t care about being wise, they care about being in control and cutting people down. They want to be the best in the room, but rather than focusing on being wise to gain respect, they focus on being critical to lower others around. They know what is wise, they just don’t care about the question, or those who follow it.

And then the last type of person is a wise person. This is someone who knows the question, what is the wise thing to do, unlike the simple person. This is someone who cares about the question, unlike the foolish person. This is someone who hasn’t given up on the question, unlike the mocking person. The wise person is someone who asks the question, and follows through on it.

They ask, “What is the wise thing to do?” And then they do it.

That was our challenge this week. To ask that question each and everyday, and also to make it personal. To say in light of my stage in life, my finances, my future, my past, who I am etc. What is the wise thing to do? Because what is wise for you and for me might be different because we are different. So we challenged everyone to ask that question and to make it personal.

Here is the beauty of the question, what is the wise thing to do. Even if you come to a situation where it is so complex and difficulty you are unsure what is the wise thing to do – the question still works. Just ask, “What is the wise thing to do, when you don’t know the wise thing to do”. The answer is pretty simple – go to God, go to others that are wiser, and move slowly.

So this one question I believe can prevent so much regret, start to heal relationships, and set our lives in the right direction. And all we need to do is ask it, and follow it.

Sermon Notes

*Big Idea*	What is the wise thing to do?
*Take Aways…*	Being wise is about knowing how to apply knowledge Being smart does not equate to being wise What is the wise thing to do? Four types of people: Simple, Fool, Mocker, and Wise Simple people don’t know enough to ask the question Fools know enough to ask the question, but don’t care enough to follow it. The words of the godly encourage many, but fools are destroyed by their lack of common sense. Proverbs 10:21 A foolish person didn’t care enough to think. Eventually being foolish isn’t fun The mocker has given up on the question. Ask this question, “What is the wise thing to do”, and follow it through Is it wise for me to do?
*Adult / Group Discussion Questions*	What stuck out to you from the sermon? What was challenging to you? How did God speak to you through it? What was new? Have you ever in life been, the “simple person”, “foolish person”, or “mocking person”? How do you think asking the question, might help? What major decisions are before you right now, or major issues or situations? What would be the wise thing to do? Who can help you to do the wise thing?
*Discussion Questions / Actions for Young Families*	Talk to your kids about today’s topic. Teach them the question – “What is the wise thing to do” and explain it to them using some examples. Maybe as an example, eating a few treats is great, eating all of them isn’t wise as you’ll get sick. Get into the habit too of asking them the question when they come to you for advice.
Challenge for this Week	Ask the question: what is the wise thing to do, and follow through.

Sermon Preview

One Question to Change Your Life

On Sunday we are jumping into the book of Proverbs and we are going to discover one question that will change your life

I know we say that a lot – that something will change your life. Everything from an new exercise machine, to a new type of taco. But I truly believe this one question will change your life. It will prevent heartache, it will lessen regret, it will change the direction of your life and move you closer towards God.

So obviously I didn’t come up with the question, Solomon did. As the wisest man, we are going to learn from him how to be wise.

But before we get there why not spend sometime today reading Proverbs. The very fact that we are still reading something written 3000 years ago – means that it must be good to have lasted. I doubt anyone will read anything I write in 3000 years, but Solomon’s wisdom was so deep it is still shaping people today.

So before Sunday why not read through some of Proverbs. They are short, easy, and some will strike you as dead on true. So here is one of my favorites that we’ll talk about on Sunday.

As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his foolishness. Proverbs 26:11

What’s your favourite verse?