This week I started taking Asher to skating lessons. He did well…and by well I mean at one point he was flopping around on the ice like a fish out of water. But he did stand and skate on his own having a great time.
As I was waiting for him to come off, I heard a parent immediately share with their child how they can improve, what they need to do better, and how they can try harder. They were kind and quiet but still affirming all the work to be done.
Asher came off and immediately said – loudly and proudly – “Daddy I great at skating. I great skater”
Now objectively this is utterly false unless great skating means lying on the ice for 5 minutes. But I realized I had a chance to affirm the good in him or his lack. He was skating on his own which was new, learning to stand up from falling on his own, and he was trying hard (hence the tired lying on the ice). Was he gliding around the ice doing pirouettes…no of course not.
So the point though is this: so often we have chances and choices to affirm the good in people or their lack. We can affirm how they are growing, doing well, or where they are lacking. And I think we often choose to affirm the growth areas rather than the good already present. And I think that affirming the good in people is a little difference, that can make a huge difference.
And this is actually what God does so often as well.
He affirms the good in us rather than our lack: you are holy (Colossians 1:22), you have a new nature (Colossians 2:10), you are God’s masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10). And if God does that, I just think we should too. We should affirm the good we see in others. We should celebrate the imperfect steps people are taking towards good goals. We should be people who affirm the good rather than the lack.
So of course I said to Asher, “You did Great Asher – you’re a great skater”